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Title : Dating is Over for Gen X
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Dating is Over for Gen X

I got out of two rat races when I was in my early 30's. One was the 9-5, corporate prison of being a wage slave. The other was dating.

The catalyst that prompted my exit from corporate America (banking) was the collapse of the housing market.  I was being driven insane when my hard numbers were telling me there was trouble, but the gray-haired baby boomer who desperately needed a commission check that month to finance their leased vehicles insisted otherwise.  It wasn't until the FBI contacted us did I realize that, no, I wasn't insane, and that, yes, corporate America and its baby boomer leaders didn't know jack.  It was a corrupt system and one where nobody with any talent can excel.  And thus it was time to hunker down and get self-employed quick.

The snow flake that caused the avalanche of me exiting stage right from dating was a cute car model from Detroit who moonlighted as a waitress at one of the bars I frequented.  This particular snowflake was nothing special, her dramatic antics common amongst pretty western females, but enough that it was the straw that broke this camel's back.  The total economic cost in terms of time, resources, effort, and sanity just wasn't worth it anymore.  I went ghost and found that quality reliable girl your mother always talks about.  Never set foot in a nightclub or disco ever again.

More than a decade has passed since both retirements, and I'm glad I exited when I did.  I now answer to no one for my paycheck, weekly reminding baby boomer bosses of my freedom, and I've been so long removed from the dating scene, I cannot for the life of me understand how I stayed in it so long.  But while I was fortunate enough to get out of both rat races, the same cannot be said of my Gen X counterparts.  Most, thankfully, have started to get some semblance of justice when it comes to careers.  Enough baby boomers are retiring or dying, providing leadership vacuums that should have been long ago. Plus the internet has obsoleted millions of baby boomers, allowing true talent to bypass them, no longer dependent on their brick and mortar monopolies, and allowing a more meritocratic labor force and economy.  But the dating rat race has only gotten worse, and for the benefit of any Gen X'ers unfortunate enough to be stuck in it, lend me your ears.

The primary complaint I see amongst colleagues, friends, loved ones, and associates is that there is just not ANYBODY worth dating.  Gen X is in their 40's now and 4 decades is enough time to make life crippling mistakes, unrecoverable decisions, and deal-breaking choices the render most undateable.  Criminal records, financial problems, student loans (STILL), bankruptcies, other people's children, STD's, unemployment, obesity, mental disorders, and all the other plagues that come with getting old.

Life isn't over for this generation, but the mistakes made in their 20's are now finally coming due with a ton of interest, and momsie and popsie aren't going to bail them out this time.  Alas, much like the millennials we love to deride about being irresponsible, I haven't and will never forget the stupid decisions the majority of Gen X made.  They simply aren't making the news because nobody wants to see the aftermath of majoring in stupid shit, borrowing a ton of money for a McMansion, getting divorced like the Baby Boomers, and basically the fallout for being the conformist, basic bitch generation they were.  Still, the selection is poor for any divorcee, ne'er married Gen X'er who kept his/her powder dry, Gen X'ers who maintained their physique, or anybody of Gen X who is in the dating market.

Gen X's dating problem is further encumbered by an age paradox.  Because you can only make more mistakes as time goes on, that means an ever-decreasing percentage of your generation is dateable.  An obvious solution would be to date younger, finding people who haven't made your mistakes...yet...but there is a problem in dating younger - they're not mature enough and thus not mentally compatible.  This is especially pronounced among male Gen X'ers who did not have children, were never married, and thus far kept their nose clean.  You can certainly date younger, but doing so will only cause a headache as you date into the realm of "feminist, empowered, yet completely clueless, Millennial women."  You can date older, but now you run into other men's children, financially troubled women, lithium prescriptions, Jesus freaks, newly-empowered 40 something feminists, and government-check-addicted Hillary Clinton acolytes.  Alas, I've seen many male friends ping-pong between the two, with no solution in sight.

Sadly, the reality is one of cold, hard economics which more accurately reflects a produce market than the pretty lies TV, media, and movies paint to get you to believe your Ann Margaret or Prince Charming is right around the corner.  All markets clear, just like the produce section.  The quality tomatoes are picked over quickly, and those that are left will spoil in due time.  This isn't to say you're a rotten tomato if you haven't been snatched up in this market, I know some men and women who are truly great and wonderful people in this unenviable situation due to circumstances largely out of their control.  But it is to stand back, clear our eyes, and accurately assess what is going on so we can accurately diagnose the situation and take action that will help going forward.

Gen X'ers today need to take a somber look at dating and acknowledge what's going on.  They may also need to entertain the possibility of just being single forever or that their standards are just too high.  Millennials would also do well to pay attention because while they're hot, young, and beautiful (well...young anyway), the lies they've been fed about career, education, "partaaaaaying," and politics being more important than family, friends, and loved ones will put them in the exact same situation as Gen X and the Baby Boomers before them.  One that is certainly not enviable.
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